The parliament of Titanuranus is based on the adversarial Westminster system.
The Government consists of The Premiere, the Deputy Premiere, the front benchers (who hold ministries) and the back benchers (who do not hold a ministry but generally harbour a desire to do so).
We are about to move onto Matters of Public Importance whereby the opposition parties can raise and talk at length about perceived issues of concern to the public.
In the parliament of Titanuranus the speaker is like the headmaster in school and his job is to keep order.
In fact the speaker yells out the word ‘order’ several times a day accompanied by the banging of his gavel.
If the speaker (resplendent in his robes) rises out of his chair this is a signal for the TV cameras to focus on him as he is usually going to threaten to throw a member out of the chamber for misbehaving.
The leader of the opposition produces a newspaper article featuring a picture of the Premiere and his Deputy so engrossed in playing the one armed bandits they had not noticed the photographer.
“Mr Speaker, this is not the first time this pair have been caught out moonlighting to finance their ridiculous policies.”
The opposition leader is just warming up.
The Premiere and his Deputy have form.
“Who can forget Mr Speaker, the appalling sight on our TV screens of these two prancing through verdant wood promoting a brand of margarine Mr Speaker!”
I notice the two in question have both skulked out of the chamber.
“Have they gone to busk in Salamander Place I wonder?
Maybe they can perform "Buddy, Can you spare a dime? Mr Speaker.”
The opposition leader feels he is on a roll and goes on to list some of the expensive policy implementations that have gone awry.
He begins with Premiere’s ill-fated idea to pump water up one side of a mountain and down the other to create a 'produce paddock'.
He then moves on to the Deputy Premiere’s disastrous idea to build a floating hospital.
He then moves on to the Deputy Premiere’s disastrous idea to build a floating hospital.
“You have to give her points for ingenuity Mr Speaker.
She could have the hospital towed to whatever part of Titanuranus that was politically convenient for her at the time”.The Clerk of the House wakes the speaker from his slumber.
The speaker tells the opposition leader his time is up.
"But I have not got around to the dubious nature of some of the plantations in our National Parks” protests the Opposition Leader.
The onus is on the government to disprove the opposition’s accusations.
However, they usually resort to waffling on and on to use up time and not address the matter at hand.
A back bencher rises to his feet to defend the government.
"Before I begin Mr Speaker, I have a communiqué from the Premiere and his Deputy.
Mr Speaker, they have so far raised $3.50 busking in Salamander Place.
Every little bit helps Mr Speaker!”
Mr Speaker, they have so far raised $3.50 busking in Salamander Place.
Every little bit helps Mr Speaker!”
The Speaker looks unimpressed with this poor attempt at humour.
The backbencher continues on unperturbed.
These include putting a plan on a page, an ingenious idea if there ever was one.
We all put a plan on a page Mr Speaker – inspirational I call it.”
Everyone in the press gallery is googling ‘plan on a page’.
“We are also building a framework Mr Speaker.”
“Mr Speaker, I am building a pagoda in my backyard and we as a government are building a framework for Titanuranus.”
The speaker is clearly irritated.
“Can we get to the point?” he asks.
The backbencher indicates he is building up to what he terms ‘The Jewel in the Crown’.
“Mr Speaker, the government of Titanuranus has been sending out memos to the opposition parties, the trade unions and the media that contain highly sensitive information.
This has had them all rolling around on the floor laughing until it hurts.
Personally, Mr Speaker, I am particularly pleased about this as I am rather fond of our furry friends and as the house is aware I am the patron of the Royal Society of Furry Animals."
Just then the fire alarm rings as it has been deliberately set off by a government staffer.
It is nearly time for lunch anyway.
The Little Tramp
Please Leave a Comment
Please Leave a Comment
Hi Dean. Well done on your post - very amusing. It is very reminiscent of the actual parliamentary proceedings that I was forced to ENDURE each week in High School (so many years ago) - listening to a bunch of grown, well-paid and apparently well-educated men and woman trying to be clever and making complete fools of themselves on national television... and as far as I can tell, nothing seems to have changed :-)
ReplyDeleteGiven that 'The Prize' is the focus of the energies of the various political players, one wonders about the integrity of their endeavours as they seek to position themselves in the minds of the electorate in order to attain that prize.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the policies of the parties are essentially the same but their supposed views reversed according to their position relative to the prize. EG, the prize holder takes a position and the pretender has the opposite view. I bet if the pretender was in govt that the party would hold the same position as the current power holder. And the new pretendre would take the same position as the previous pretender. The notion of choice is a lie to keep the masses hopeful. In actual fact, the policies adopted by the govt are directed by outside powers..... eg Rothschilds, Bilderbergers, etc. Any comment ?
#Raelenen
ReplyDeleteThanks Raelene,
You have summed the situation up well.
What I have tried to highlight that fact with the use of satire.
Nothing has changed and prpbably never will.
#Word Pic Press
ReplyDeleteYou have summed the situation up well.
Keeping the prize is the main thing, everyting else is secondary.
Hi Dean A brilliant exposition of satire. If only it weren't so painfully true down here, though!
ReplyDeleteThank You Jane! Thank you for your inspirational talk that time too!
ReplyDeleteDean