Ivory Tower Syndrome

The Ivory Tower

There is a mental illness in politics known as ivory tower syndrome.

The symptoms include losing touch with reality altogether and failing to recognise unrest amongst the locals.

These symptoms are perpetuated by what is known as the inner circle.

The inner circle is meant to be a small group of knowledgeable people who keep the Premiere informed and advised.

The inner circle can also be just a pack of pathetic sycophants.

Let us look at the make-up of the inner circle.

The CEO in the office of the Premiere should be knowledgeable, well respected and a leader.

The Inner Circle

However, every stakeholder in the province had washed their hands of the government because of his rude and ignorant manner.

He has no personal skills, the personality of a tree stump and his only qualification is he is a friend of a former Premiere, Michael Meadow.

Michael Meadow was the worst Premiere the province Titanuranus has ever had.

As the Fat Iranian, Senator Robert Rayi, bellowed  at the time, get rid of Michael Meadow, get rid of him, get f**king rid of him!

Apart from being Michael Meadow’s friend the CEO has got where he is by dealing with any situation in the classic civil service manner of saying “I don’t know what to do” or “I don’t know what to say”.



Crusty the Clown



We in the press gallery have little cause to deal with him but we have all read his memos he sends us which have us rolling around on the floor in fits of laughter and we refer to him as ‘Crusty the Clown’.

The CEO’s deputy also has the personality of a doormat, is arrogant beyond belief and has a disturbing habit of arriving at media events before the Premiere does leaping out of the limousine giggling and waving her arms around like a teenager.

The so called Senior Political Advisor is in fact a has-been journalist who is quite a good Scrabble player but has no political nous at all.

The chief economic advisor is actually quite a smart young man.

His problem is he has been having for some time a masturbatory affair with the notion of cutting the size of the civil service

On the odd occasions when the Premiere has forgotten to say “Titanuranus needs to cut the size of the civil service” during the doorstop interview itself he would chase us all down the driveway yelling “The Premiere forgot to say the government needs to cut the size of the civil service.”

Michael Meadow did it years ago and was left with the legacy of being the worst Premiere ever.

This Premiere is hell bent on toppling him for that title.

"Next graph please"

The governments own polling shows the main opposition party will comfortably get 15 seats, the minor opposition party will struggle to get 4 seats and the government itself will struggle to get 6 seats.

The Premiere’s only answer to this is to hold slide nights and say “Next graph please”.

They will be left in the political wilderness for years.